I could see them arguing on the side of the road from a mile away. As we got nearer, they paused and raised their paws in that ages-old gesture: “Can I get a ride, Mister?”

I briefly considered it. But after two days in the car with my wife, I quickly decided one bickering couple in the vehicle was all I could handle.

They resumed the fight as soon as I passed; I could see them in my rearview mirror.

“First good decision you’ve made all weekend,” my wife declared.

I almost turned around; it was a close thing. But I figured they’d never eat her. Sour grapes aren’t very appetizing.